You are always moving away or towards God. There is no stagnant or "gray" area in our relationship with Him.
For a long time, I have felt like I was moving away from God. Either because of life's struggles, direct challenges to my faith, or moving to a less "God-centered" community.
Reality: As true as the initial statement is, there is also the necessity for self-grace when observing our relationship with God (& observing my own).
I've had to learn that slowly.
Positive Self-Grace: Our concerns regarding our faith and the possible loss/weakening of it, shows us that we still have it, are holding on, and are trying to work towards a deeper understanding and relationship with Him.
Being worried about the state of our faith is actually a good sign, but it can also be debilitating...
Often times, I see friends comparing their faith with that of Biblical figures and being discouraged in the comparison. Instead of being inspired and recognizing the flaws in us all, there is a feeling of guilt for not 'living up' to the role models laid before us.
Instead, I propose focusing on the positives.
God loves us. I have previously committed my life to Christ. I am worrying about the state of my faith because I care about it & God; thus by worrying about having no faith I am demonstrating faith & my love for God.
My faith may not part seas yet, but I will continue to learn and grow in it.
.Eventually I would like to have faith as it is seen in the Bible, but for now
I am okay with being the 'work in progress' that I am (& always will be!)
It is a relationship that is developed... continually.
Remembering that every healthy relationship starts with acknowledging where you are at.
*You don't need to feel that you must be the perfect "Christian" in order to talk to God.... He's been waiting far too long to speak with you to wait for that impossibility to come to fruition.*
He already knows everything. The best place to start when prayer feels like talking to a wall is to:
a. confess your sins
b. connect- share every little & large detail of life with Him (best friend chats)
Love yourself, like God loves you.
Show the same love, mercy & grace for yourself as God does for you.